So this website and video (which he claims cost him tons of dollarses (actual quote)) was created by Stansberry & Associates Investment Research; a totally not fake company that has totally never been sued by any government ever.

OBVIOUSLY it’s just a scare tactic, but what I find so funny about it, is that it is hilarious.

There have been radio commercials and adds pumped into this thing yet the entire video is some guy rambling into his macbook and typing EVERYTHING HE IS SAYING on the screen.  It’s like a really meta pop-up video.

My favorite part is when this random VO guy talks about how he has refused to run for public office when people have begging him cause that WOULD BE WAY HILARIOUSER! 

 Hey the-rent-is-too-damn-high party, meet the Amurrica-is-gonna-die party!

All in all the video is super fucking long and he never really gets to the point but the anticipation is legendary.  It’s the iMovie/text version of the water ripple in Jurassic Park only instead of a T-Rex it’s a financial meltdown and instead of teaching us humans not to play god it just asks for money.  So that’s a let down.

But hey, what if they’re right?  I don’t know about you guys but I’m pulling all of my two figure savings out of the banks and investing in bullets and guns son.  

Seacrest out.